It’s Chilly Outside

Continuation of 10/22 It’s Not Just Another Day

As you can read, the gun didn’t fire. He tried again with the same results. Thank you, God, for saving my life on that day. He drove around and I stayed calm enough to coax him into taking us to a restaurant in town. To make a long story short, he left us there, stole my car, and was picked up in a wooded area near the subdivision where I lived the next day. He spent 15 yrs straight in prison. When he was released my children started visiting him. Two years later, in 2014, he died.

To tell you the truth, I believe the PTSD started from these 3 things that happened. 1. the woman who looked at me in the parking lot, 2. the incident itself, and 3. the local newspaper had his name mentioned (small enough town for people to know it was me).

I worked for years with minimal problems. For the most part, I was afraid of people socially and limited my interactions to the family. I stopped going out grocery shopping and doing all the things I had enjoyed. By then, my children were old enough to do the things I couldn’t. I did continue with appointments for medication, but I never addressed the underlying issues. Ever heard of the great pretender? Me. I started falling apart in 2014. I lost a very stable job. Soon after, I tried working other jobs, some of which I just quit and others, I was terminated. Being terminated was a big problem. Anxiety and panic attacks became full-blown. I thought from supervisors were out to get me, cars following me to someone hacking my job computer. I knew my gig was up. I had to seek help before I destroyed myself. So, here I am today letting the world hear my story while I find my way to healing.

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