Fall is my favorite time of year! Winter well, I tolerate. Every year I have flashbacks of the kidnapping in dream form, but different scenarios. Sometimes, the perpetrator is chasing me with a knife, sometimes he has me already kidnapped, tied me up and tells me what is going to happen. I know it sounds crazy, but I always wake up just in time. Anxiety sets in and I pray for deliverance.
I don’t want to review the past in any shape or form! Some of the days were very gloomy for me. I would dwell on why me? What did I do to deserve this? I’m a good person! Why, why, why? Uuugh!
When I started therapy this last year, I began to learn from my therapist it doesn’t matter. The person who harmed me was sick. I have to take control back by doing things to help me heal. I don’t have to have dark days all of the time. I may have some, but if I have a strategy and actually do things to help diminish those thoughts, I will have less and less dark days and the sun will start to shine through for me. I have to keep working to make progress. I have to keep walking, moving forward. Don’t get distracted. This healing is to help me, it is for me, it is about me.
Until next time,
Take time for yourself.